30 Reasons to Have S*x Right Now
- Eleanor Wohl
- May 27
- 2 min read
With a partner or partners or by yourself!
To help you fall asleep
Or to give you an energy bump
To feel closer to yourself or your partner
To try something new
To avoid vacuuming or any other odious house task
To have an orgasm
To take a mental break from the world
To connect to the 5 senses
To make money
To spend money
To feel supported
To try on a new persona
Because you're bored
Because you're in love
Because you met someone you're super attracted to
As a part of sex magick
Because you're feeling yourself today!
Because you're actually having a terrible hair day so bed head can always improve it
To give support to someone else
To be seen
To procrastinate
To break your habit of doom scrolling (sex is definitely better for your mental health than doom scrolling)
To express your gender identity
To celebrate your sexual orientation
To explore kink in a way you've always wanted
To be held
As an act of self-love
To motivate yourself to take a shower
To avoid the heat outside
Because you're in a bad mood
Because you want to
Ok, I put a little lagniappe in there! (BTW consent is always required in my definition of sex. Sex can be anything but it has to be consensual).
I made this list off the top of my head for fun but also to make a little bit of a point:
The only reason to have sex isn't an orgasm!
This is just a quick 5 minute list of so many other reasons to have sex that are not orgasm related.
Something I see as a sex therapist is folks who can get overly focused on an orgasm. This can really make people spiral: we get so in our heads about our own or our partner's orgasm that we then get anxious, worried, or shut down.
Nothing kills the fun vibe of sex more than hyper-focusing on the end result of an orgasm.
You can have a ton of fun, intimate (or not) experiences that don't include an orgasm. Shoot, if you're goal is to put off doing the dishes- then a 20 minute roll in the hay will accomplish that, orgasm or not!
While there are complex diagnoses that relate to chronically not orgasming*, for many folks, it's the anxiety and shame around sex itself that gets in the way.
If you were to be a bit more playful with your sex life, what would that look like? Would it be a hyper-focused march to an orgasm? Or would it look like something else?
This is your invitation to daydream and explore. What do you actually want your sex life to look like? to feel like?
*Anorgasmia or delayed orgasm are the clinical terms for some of those. Those are definitely important issues that a sex therapist can help with.
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