30 More Reasons to Have S*x
- Eleanor Wohl
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
Last year, I published a blog post: 30 Reasons to Have Sex and I loved it so much I came out with a part two! So without further ado:
30 more reasons to have sex... by yourself or with a partner or partners.
To decrease pain from an injury.
To cast a spell.
To end a fight.
Hatefucking.
To make art.
Because anything by Jeremih came on the radio.
You smelled your partners’ scent on their t-shirt they left behind.
You want to role play a princess slaying a dragon.
You want to be the dragon being slayed.
You bought a cute new PJ set and it’s about time someone sees it!
You 👀 that body part you love on your partner and feel some kinda way.
You hug your partner and don’t want it to end.
Because having a satisfying sex life as a femme is an act of rebellion right now (& always).
To warm up - it’s cold outside!
To have a place to spend the night when you’re traveling.
To connect to someone else on a spiritual level.
The can of whipped cream is about to expire!
To have a baby.
Because you watched Heated Rivalry.
To fulfill a fantasy.
To get your groove back (love that movie).
To make content.
Because you’re caught in a car in the rain.
To try that thing you read about that one time in Cosmo one million years ago.
You finally have an opportunity to join the Mile High Club and by George you’re going to take it!
On that note- if sex that would make a good story.
You’re feeling ennui and not sure what else to do.
You’re craving physical touch.
You’ve always topped and you want to try bottoming or vice versa.
Tradition: I.e. it’s how you break in the new year/etc.
(BTW consent is always required in my definition of sex. Sex can be anything but it has to be consensual).
I made this list off the top of my head for fun but also to make a little bit of a point:
The only reason to have sex isn't an orgasm!
This is just a quick 5 minute list of so many other reasons to have sex that are not orgasm related.
Something I see as a sex therapist is folks who can get overly focused on an orgasm. This can really make people spiral: we get so in our heads about our own or our partner's orgasm that we then get anxious, worried, or shut down.
Nothing kills the fun vibe of sex more than hyper-focusing on the end result of an orgasm.
You can have a ton of fun, intimate (or not) experiences that don't include an orgasm. Shoot, if you're goal is to put off doing the dishes- then a 20 minute roll in the hay will accomplish that, orgasm or not!
While there are complex diagnoses that relate to chronically not orgasming*, for many folks, it's the anxiety and shame around sex itself that gets in the way.
If you were to be a bit more playful with your sex life, what would that look like? Would it be a hyper-focused march to an orgasm? Or would it look like something else?
This is your invitation to daydream and explore. What do you actually want your sex life to look like? to feel like?
*Anorgasmia or delayed orgasm are the clinical terms for some of those. Those are definitely important issues that a sex therapist can help with.
Comments