What being a party girl taught me about creating containers

Same skill, only slightly different playlist.

One of the biggest reasons I find somatically oriented work (be it therapy, training, or dance class) the most fulfilling is because of the focus on building a container.

The process of facilitating & co-creating a safe container for healing/play/exploration/whatever mirrors a parallel process in our bodies of seeking adequate & flexible containment.

Each container I’ve been in has its own flavor- based on who shows up & with what, what the orientation of the container is & who the facilitator(s) is.

And something I spend a lot of energy on is creating safe & spacious containers for my clients - whether in the pole studio or on the therapy couch.

And while- yes- this is a tool I’ve sharpened over time with training & personal experience of being in a lot of intentional containers…

I think there’s somewhere else I first developed these skills and that was:

The Party. 🤘🏻

Newer folks might not know about my youth spent as a wild party girl. 2000s Lindsay Lohan was one of my idols if that helps give you some context.

And I simply looooved partying. Throwing parties, going to house parties, raves, basement clubs, dance floors, dive bars, festivals, you name it & I was there.

And what is a great party if not a great container?!

I wasn’t speaking this language but I was learning chops at how to create containers.

Was the goal safety? Ish.

Was the goal healing? Ish.

Was the goal connection? Oh yes.

Was the goal fun? YES.

Being a party girl from 2003-2017 taught me a lot.

I probably called it “vibes” but what I was talking about was the co-creation of a space that allows people to be themselves and connect.

A container of belonging… & honestly that part hasn’t changed.

At the time - I knew when I nailed it. When the vibes were “immaculate”. The fun was had. The bonding had happened.

Other times, they either fell flat for reasons in my control or out (the bigger the party, the more the variables.)

But I think those years, unknowingly, helped me build this skill.

What you’re not going to find here is shame around any of it.

I’m from New Orleans: fun, communal dancing, music in the streets, and revelry are woven into our culture. It’s not optional or frivolous.

NOLA’s been my greatest teacher on how to build community and actually have fun doing it. It’s essential to our resilience, our creativity, and our super powered ability to regenerate.

There’s no shame in the partying game. Even though that chapter (in that iteration) had to end.

Because while partying CAN absolutely be a container for connection, it can’t be your only one.

And for me- it eventually became that. And so I had to hang my 2000s gladiator sandals up.

But those early days of stumbling & fumbling through container creation taught me a lot. They were my “at bats” for energy work.

I spent years playing with variables & “vibes” & energy without even knowing it.

So even though my containers are way more intentional now & way way more focused on safety, I’m eternally grateful to the younger version of myself for stumbling through those early lessons.

I spent over a decade in containers dedicated to play, expression, & connection and I mostly had fun doing it?!  🎁🎁🎁🎁

I’m up at 2 am pondering, imagining, and playing with some new containers I’m feeling called to.

In this process, I’m reflecting on containers past.

And I’m filled with so much gratitude and love for younger me who stumbled, fumbled, danced, & partied. Party on ✌️🫶🏻🤝🙏🏻