The No Good, Very Bad Day at the Doctor's Office

This is a post about how much I hate American healthcare*

*the system, not the people in it.

Yesterday I took my little guy to a specialist for his chronic illness. This specialist was labeled as one who particularly specializes in pediatrics (this is important for later…)

For context: he’s 2.5 years old. His older brother (4 years old) had to come with us to the appointment as well because my husband was still at work.

The timing wasn’t great because they had been at their first day of camp so they were tired, hot, and in a real silly mood.

But it was this appointment or not another one til the end of July...

This office- despite being pediatrics?!- was not set up for kids. It was a typical adult doctor’s office and also super hot and stuffy.

My kids held it together through the check in, through the elevator/hallway maze, through going over everything with the nurse…

But by the time the doctor came in - they were pretty done. When they’re DONE, they get super floppy. They stop listening, they can’t control their bodies, they basically need to go home, cool off, and reset.

I think this is pretty basic and a lot of humans (myself included!) feel this way.

The doctor - again a “pediatric specialist”- stopped talking about my son’s chronic condition to say “I see we have attention disorders! Wow. Okay.” and literally left the room.

At first- I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. My thoughts were “I’m not a good Mom; a good Mom could get her kids through a 10 minute doctor’s appointment”.

I wrangled everyone back to the car & blasted the AC. Feeling ashamed, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

By this point the kids were DONE DONE so we were just hanging on to get home.

Over the course of the drive home, I realized something:

F*ck that dude.

How can you call yourself a pediatric specialist and then judge a 2 year old and a 4 year old for not being able to sit still?

F*ck that guy for using neurodivergence as a tactic to shame anyone.

Some of my very favorite humans on this planet are neurodivergent- and part of the reason that I love them is because of how they see the world, not in spite of it.

F*ck the healthcare system for being so damn hard to operate.

It doesn’t seem to be working for the patients, it doesn’t seem to be working for the doctors, nurses, and medical staff. So who TF is it working for??

I’m still salty about this experience- I’m not going to lie. Because now it’s back to the drawing board to find a specialist for my kiddo.

But I also refuse to be made to feel less than by an environment with unrealistic demands.

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Once upon a time, there was a perfectionistic, people-pleasing version of me who would've deferred to the doctor's opinion of me and my kids. I would have taken his opinion over my own. But now? -Once I can literally cool down- I'm able to see what's his and what's mine.

Want to learn to do the same for yourself? The road starts at my FREE workshop, Overcoming Perfectionism and you're invited!

Wednesday 6/12

6-7 pm

The Spyre Center

Free workshop, but registration required! Register here